ink polas

Apr, 2020

The series Ink Polas was part of my recovery from a time filled with depression and anxiety. 

As I was going through therapy, those drawings helped me cope with all my fears and traumas and they gave me a sense of release. 

We take photos with disposable cameras trying to capture a moment in time, freezing an instant for us to remember forever. They serve as physical proof of a memory, making it unnecessary to remember them ourselves. We can just look at the photograph and trigger the memory without an effort of recollection.

In order to heal from my scars I had to do the same but the other way round. I dug deep into my past and I had to resurface memory by memory and puzzle them together. To visualize and keep track, I manifested those memories through those ink drawings. So that I can look at them and remember the feelings in order to understand and deal with them. 

Now, looking back on this journey I only see the beauty in the images. They came to life as part of a painful journey, but instead of being left with nothing but my memories of the journey, I'm left with beautiful little drawings of parts of myself which will always be remembered and respected. 

It was a time with little colour in my world, I drew in black and white just as my world appeared to be. And as I started to fall in love with the harsh contrasts the Japanese Ink brushes offered, my own world started to grow back into the colourful place it used to be. 

To everyone who seems to find themselves in a dark place right now and who is reaching out for help, or is thinking about it, I am proud of You. It doesn't matter how insignificant Your problems seem in comparison to others, they deserve to be heard, treated and released. Don't ever let You tell otherwise. It blinded me for years and it's sad how stigmatized it is still, to talk about mental health. When it should be normalized. 

Love,

Hanna Lea